Please Dont Cry! Allowing People to Express their Emotions by Crying

                                    Please Don't Cry! 

                                  Allowing People to Express their Emotions by Crying

We often tell people, "Don't Cry!" when we see them sad and crying in front of us. Why do we do that?

Why do we tell them to Not cry? Maybe it is because of our own selfish reasons, maybe it is because it makes us feel uncomfortable. We struggle to find ways to comfort them. We don't know what to say to them in this situation. 

When someone passes away, we often don't know what to say to them that will offer them comfort and make them feel better.  Why not just allow them to feel what it is they are feeling. We should allow them to "get into their feelings" as some would say. We need to allow them time to feel the emotions and cry, if that is what they feel like doing at that point in time.  

When I worked in the hospital as a RN many years ago, I would see people cry a lot. Often times the doctors would immediately diagnose them as depressed and order some type of medication to treat their depression.  I would often wonder why doctors would respond this way instead of allowing them to feel their emotions and simply cry.  I would never tell my patients to not cry or make them feel bad about expressing that emotion. They just needed to cry about whatever situation they were facing at that time.

God gave us this emotion to allow us to express our feeling, of sadness or happiness and we are allowed to cry.  Remember the song. It's My Party and I will Cry if I Want To, sung by Leslie Gore? That song was recorded in 1963. She goes on later to say in the song's lyrics - "You would cry too if it happened to you." In the song's lyrics, it is describing a girl whose boyfriend ran off and married her good friend and then shows up together, at her party with a ring on her hand. 

This song was actually produced by Quincy Jones, few people are aware of that fact.  The song was written by Seymour Gottlieb, based on actual events relating to his own daughter's sweet sixteen birthday party. She did not want to invite her grandparents to her own party. Perhaps she felt they were too old and would ruin her party by their mere presence. Well guess what? Her grandparents did eventually attend this birthday party. 

Sometimes we just need a moment to cry, and then all is right again with the world. 

by Ella Shines Goldsmith

   

                             God is Watching Us!

Preface: Someone (not me) wrote this and allowed me to publish it, in hopes that it would help someone. The author wants to remain Anonymous.

Be careful what you do and say because God is certainly watching you.

 Who in the world and universe should you worry and be concerned 

about seeing what you do and say?  Answer: God, who sees ALL. 

I am here to warn you to be watchful and 

concerned about what you do and speak.  

 Below are some Bible verses.  
	

	Mark 13:33 NIV states “Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know 

when that time will come.”
		

1 Corinthians 16:13: "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, 

act like men, be strong" 

		

Colossians 4:2: "Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful 

in it with thanksgiving" 

	•	

1 Peter 5:8: "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the 

devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour" 

===========================
          
On the 20th December 2024 @ 10:00 am, I was sitting on my porch, 

drinking coffee and thinking about our God and how compassionate 

He is.  Our God is the creator of ALL 

THINGS and He sees EVERYTHING.  

It’s so funny how we think no one is watching us.  We sometimes 

do things that are good and things that are bad.  God knows everything 

and sees everything that we do, and it’s written in the Book of Life.  

When we decide to do something that is “good” or “bad” we shouldn’t 

really care bout what other people here on earth think.  

Our main concern, let me say this one more time, our main concerns, 

should be about what God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit 

thinks and sees.  

We need to be especially careful if it’s “bad” thoughts or “bad” things 

we do.  

I really want you to understand how important this is.  Who is this 

writing this text?  I’m just an ant crawling along & praying that

 a lot of good things are written in the “book of life” for me.  

Now, I have done things that were not so good.  But never in my life 

did I consider how or what God thoughts were about what I was doing. 

 It was late in my life—actually after I retired that I started to think 

more about God.  I spoke to God and said why Lord, why did it take 

me so long to hear you.  My Lord, I was so embarrassed to think about 

the “bad” things I did in my life.  

So I want to say, you might be able to do “good” or “bad” things in your

 life and get away with it from the people of this world but, oh my, 

it’s the Trinity (God the Father, Jesus the Son and Holy Spirit the 

Comforter) this is who we should be really worried about.  

Think about it, that is, if you believe in the Trinity, you need to be

 very very careful, because EYES/EARS are watching and seeing you.  

You might say, I’ll just ask for forgiveness, but the Trinity knows your 

heart, mind and thoughts even before you make a decision to do something.  

God doesn’t say think about what you are about to do whether it’s good or bad.

  It’s call free will that God has given to each and every one of us.  

What I’m saying is try very hard to make the Trinity (God, Jesus 

and Holy Spirit) a daily routine and a habit in your daily life.   

 Start to pray about everything you do and then ask God to open your 

mind and heart to hear and your eyes to see 

what the Holy Trinity is trying to show you.  Now, I'm going to say 

this is not an easy task. It’s something you will need to practice 

daily and sometimes 3-6 times a day, if not more.  

BLUF (bottom line up front) is to be prayerful, and know that God knows 

your heart,mind, soul and everything about you.  He has given us free 

will and if your “free will” is to do “bad things” just know during 

The Judgement—when Jesus comes back to this earth, that you nor I will

be able to explain why we did what we did. 

 The jury, which is the Trinity, has already decided whether you are 

guilty or not guilty.  It’s written in the “Book of Life”.  You will NOT be 

able to give an explanation about why you did this or why you did that.  

It’s your life, or it’s your free will. SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT!

Cooking with Miss Ella

Fresh Greens and veggies  from local Farmer’s Market

Baked Stuffed Potatoe with Seafood Stuffed Mushrooms and Zucchini and Bacon

Grilled Lobster and Scallions over Spinach and Gouda Mashed Potatoes

Grilled Chicken Breast topped with Spinach and Asparagus and Gouda Mashed Potatoes 

I am Descendants of Slaves and England Royalty

slave plantation

Ballynahinch Castle/ Galway, Ireland

I have been researching my family history for last 15 years and came across something that surprised
me.  I recently found out that my maternal great grandfather was a white man named Joseph W.
Martin who married a Black woman, my great grand mother Illinois Williams.  She was only 14 years
old when she met him and he was 15 years her senior when they met.  The story was told to me by
my 90 year old uncle - William Kelley that they met while she was escaping some white men who
were trying to catch her,  she hid in his briar patch.  The entire story is written by me in a 3 book
series:  Illinois Strong published on  http://www.amazon.com/author/ellagoldsmith
My great grandfather Joseph Martin (1870 - about 1961) is a direct descendent of The Martins that
once owned Ballynahinch Castle in Galway, Ireland and Athelhampton House, a  haunted Castle
in Dorset, England built by Sir William Martin (Martyn ) in 1485.
 He is a direct descendant of my great  grandfather proven by DNA that I did about 2 years ago.
Once I found him on ancestry.com, I was then able to trace his lineage back to year 777 A.D.  He is
descendants of Lords, Knights and Barons in England.
Unfortunately, I was not that lucky with my  African American maternal great grandmother -
Illinois Williams Martin (1888-1957?),  her grandmother named Charlotte Williams born 1819 in
South Carolina  and her  husband Plato Williams was  born in 1816.  Finding them was actually
amazing because many of the  African American ancestors can only be traced back to 1850's because
many of their names were not listed on the census at that time.
They were only listed as either male or female and their ages were the only  thing listed on the
slave schedules.  Many of my African American Ancestors were slaves and many of my ancestors
unfortunately were white slave owners.   Their mixing together, having children and their children
having children and so on and son on, is how I came into existence.  Some of my ancestors fought on
both sides of the Civil War, both Union and Confederate Armies.  I was able to trace their lineage on
both sides of my family both my biological father, John William Shines and mother - Lula Mae
Kelley's ancestors found in almost every war in the United States of America including the War of
1812, the Civil War, World War I and World War II.  So you can say that my family definitely help to
build and fight for this country.  I am more an American than anyone else who proclaims to "Make
America Great Again".   America has always been great and will continue to be as long as God
Blesses America!!

If You could Only Hear Me

If You Could Only Hear Me:

These are the words from a woman in a coma, this could have been the words spoken from a person you
loved and lost once they slipped into a coma. This could have been their final thoughts; these are the
words they would have liked to have spoken if only they had one more chance to speak.
I am inside of my body but I am outside of it at the same time.
How could that be? Perhaps it is my spirit trying to leave my body, lying there in the bed.
I see my family members, I see the doctors and nurses hovering over my head. I can hear their
conversations. The doctors are saying there is no more hope of life left in me.
The nurses are looking at me with forlorn looks of pity and care. My family is looking at me with glances,
some of hope and some of despair.
“ Wait Doctor!, What do you mean I am going to die?” , “I still have lots of things I need to get done. I
need to kiss my children and husband one last time and tell them how dearly I love them. I need to
finish that book I said I was going to write. I need to get that invention produced that I have been
holding onto secretly for years in fear someone would steal my idea. I need to pray more often and
earnestly daily. I need to help the less fortunate and visit the sick and elderly. I need to pray for my
family, friends, co-workers and yes, even my enemies. I long once more to smell the scent of freshly
cut green grass and the smell of fresh rain on the crisp dry dirt in the summertime. I need to go on that
vacation spot of a lifetime that I have always wanted to travel to. I need to spend more time with my
daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, and friends and less time watching TV.
I want to speak but somehow the sounds are not coming out so will someone please tell Uncle John
who is leaning over me right now to stop breathing on me , he smells like he took a bath in alcohol. Will
someone tell my siblings and cousins to stop fighting over who is going to get my things after I die. Will
someone tell my children that I love them and will be watching over them from Heaven, Yes, I do believe
I am going to Heaven once I take my last breath. Will someone tell my family for me to cherish every
moment left on this earth together and to not mourn me too long. Remember the good times we
shared together.
I wish I could tell you that I hear you talking and arguing with each other. I wish I could tell you that the
hearing is the last thing to go on a dying person, so talk to me as if I could hear you. I wish I could tell
you to tell me you love me over and over again, and I wish I could tell you back, and you hear me
because I am screaming it out loud, but no sound is coming from my mouth. In fact, my mouth is not
even moving but my heart is screaming it out to the top of my lungs, “I LOVE YOU TOO!” Oh God!! Why
can’t they hear me!!” There, a tear just fell from the corner of my eye, see this is a sign that I can hear
you. I am blinking my eyes for you, it is not a reflex as the doctors have told you.
I now hear the doctors saying, “ Time of death, 11:43pm.”
I hear my dead mother calling my name, I see my dead father smiling at me, I see the baby I lost in
childbirth holding out her little hand to me…I feel a sense of peace, overwhelming peace and calm. I
feel a sense of warmth and love, overwhelming love! How can I resist this feeling of love and
indescribable peace? I want to remain here forever. I want this more than life!! I feel my spirit moving
further and further away from my body. I see my loved ones weeping. I want to tell them don’t worry, I
am going to a better place. A place of eternal peace and eternal love. I am going to the home that
Christ has prepared for me. It is a lovely mansion! I see many mansions! I see Angels too, thousands of
them. You cannot see them with the natural eye, but they are all around you on earth too!! I can see
them. They watch over my loved ones day and night. They intercede for us on earth in human form and
spiritual forms.
God has something he wants me to tell everyone. He is coming back!! Soon!!
written by Ella Shines Goldsmith
This was written by Ella Shines Goldsmith, exactly one month and 5 days after she lost her younger sister
who passed away after slipping into a coma. She was in a coma for 2 months before she pas passed away after slipping into a coma. She was in a coma for 2 months before she passed. This is
dedicated to her sister, Ruby Shines Hertzock ( March 31, 1962 - June 19, 2017).

A Palace Built from Love

A Palace built from Love in Mississippi by Ella Shines Goldsmith

         A Palace built from Love in Mississippi   

                                         by Ella Shines Goldsmith

                       

    This is the palace that Dennis built!  The Rev. H.D. Dennis that is the man who built this 

    palace out of love for his darling wife, Mary Martin Dennis, his 4th wife.    What started out

as a normal country grocery store has transformed into an unbelievable work of folk art that

has been photographed many, many times from people all over the world from the U.S, to

 Germany and beyond.   When the Rev. Dennis proposed to Margaret, he promised her that 

"If you marry me, I will turn your store into a palace".  Little did he realize then that his

promise would end up being a great work of art for the entire world to marvel at and enjoy.  

Aunt Margaret and Rev. Dennis on their .day. Photo copyrighted

                                       

Aunt Margaret and Rev. Dennis in early years

Aunt Margaret and Rev. Dennis in their later years

 Growing up in the family, as children, my siblings and I would visit my grandmother and my great aunt Margaret, sister to my grandmother Mentha Martin.  We thought her husband,  Rev. Dennis was an old eccentric man who had nothing but time on his hands and was bored so he would paint signs 

and paint bricks bright bold red, yellow, pink and white and write gospel messages on plywood

 and paint them red.

We had no idea this would become what folklorist call Vernacular Southern Folk Art.  We had no 

idea that it would be recognized by a former Mississippi State Governor, published in many books and would be featured at Museums, on TV, Newspapers, and even a Film Documentary featuring the couple and the place known inVicksburg, Mississippi as Margaret's Grocery Store.  

Rev. Dennis spent over 40 years transforming the store into a miraculous work of art, he 

meticulously placed thousands of mardi gras beads, buttons, balls, flowers and glued them to the walls,ceilings, and even outfitted an entire school bus to be a mini church to draw attention to people

 so that he could preach the Gospel of the Lord to them.  

The Church Bus

The Ceiling in the Store /Rev Dennis Artwork

The front of the Church Bus

Sadly, this place that Rev. Dennis and my aunt Margaret Dennis worked so hard and so long for

is in ruins,  it was bequeathed to the church they attended for many years in Margaret's Will and

unfortunately, the church was unable to maintain and preserve the building and signs have been vandalized and removed.  The colors on the bricks are fading, some have fallen down, and the store itself has succumb to mother nature and the wood is eaten up by termites and wind and rain.  Rev. Dennis passed away in 2012 at the age of 96 and my aunt Margaret passed away at the age of 94. 

I recently made a trip back to the site this month on September 6,2015 and was so saddened to see what had become of a promise  to a wife to build her  a beautiful palace and many years and hours of hard work and one of a promise once fulfilled is now slowly fading away into ruins.   The brightly colored paint on the signs have faded.  The grass has overgrown the bus like the tides of time have erased the memory of the hustle and bustle of people coming from all over the world to photograph and listen to the sermons that Rev. Dennis would echo out loudly and proudly of the Lord Jesus and his message that this is " The house of prayer for all people to come to worship!" 

The church bus, now overgrown with trees and faded paint and rust

The Signs removed and stolen from the bus

The store now, boarded up to keep out vandals

The current condition of store in ruins

Efforts are now underway to begin the Preservation of Margaret's Grocery Store which has been a tourist stop and a part of Mississippi's History in the city of Vicksburg for many years.  The problem is the lack of funding that is necessary to restore, repair, and repaint the store to get it to it's near original appearance.  There have been many efforts in the past to save Margaret's Grocery by the local Arts Commission and citizens in the area but unfortunately all have been fruitless, but as a family member with a undying faith, love and passion I have for my family, I do believe that this can be done and all hope is not lost to restore it  and turn it into a museum.  My aunt Margaret acquired and opened the store with her first husband Abie Rogers in 1944. She met Rev. Dennis in 1979 at her church and he asked her to marry him, she agreed to marry him and the rest is history, a beautiful story of love, devotion and of keeping a promise.   

Margaret's Grocery has been nominated one of 10 Most Endangered Places in Mississippi by the Mississippi Heritage Trust Foundation. This is a significant step in helping to get the store funding but is not a guarantee that it will happen but will be helpful in pointing a light on what has happened to the Margaret's Grocery Store and hopefully get funding started and restoration efforts underway.    (This article was originally written in 2015)

 All Photos and information here copyright.  All Rights Reserved. Permission must be obtained for reprint. This Article  

James City,  The Methodical Destruction of An Affluent Black Town in the 1800’s

   By Ella Shines Goldsmith

James City, ca 1910, Photograph by Bayard Wootten. North Carolina Collection, University

of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Library.

James City located in Craven County, North Carolina, was a flourishing african american city in  the 1900’s.  It was founded immediately after the civil war in mid to late 1800’s during reconstruction.  James City was predominately a city of freed slaves that fled to this area in 1865.   In 1862 Union forces captured this area along the North Carolina coast.  Now this area had numerous freed slaves that had crossed Union lines to safety.  The Union Army formed a settlement along the Trent River, originally called the Trent River Settlement. This land had been confiscated from a former Confederate colonel, Peter G. Evans. By 1865 nearly 3000 black lived in the settlement of 800 homes, renamed James City, after it’s founder, Horace James, superintendent of Negro affairs and agent for the Bureau of Freedmen, Refugees, and Abandoned Lands.

The residents began an established community with the aide of missionaries and The New England Freedmen's Aide Society started to  build churches, establish businesses, schools, hospitals, and began to farm the lands.  Many local residents deposited their funds into the newly formed  local branch of the Freedman’s Savings and Trust Company. Soon after the war ended, James City had become an independent community, no longer dependent on government aide.  James City residents selected as one of it’s delegates Joseph Green to represent them at  their state convention to appeal for male suffrage and homestead rights.  James City was truly an independent black town possessing all the qualities of a thriving community.

The Methodical destruction began in 1867 when the federal government restored the land to it’s former owners, through a federal decision by the Supreme Court.   The former owners were Mary and James A Bryan.  The black residents of James City were forced to either leave the city, or pay rent to owners or work as sharecroppers on their once previously own land.   Heavy rains and droughts made conditions even worse for the former black tenants.  Now these farmers had to contend with profiting from only one third of the proceeds from their harvest which they had previously profited one hundred percent.  Two thirds of their profits went to the new white landowners and as a result, many of the residents became impoverished.   This was the beginning of the end of a previously thriving, established black community, James City.

Towards the end of the 1800’s the black population of James City had declined to 1100.  In

1880 James City workers began a strike to  protest low wages and unfair prices.  The James City black residents were tenacious and together raised a total of $2000 and offered to buy back the land from the new owners, Mary and James Bryan but the owners refused to sell. And the years following the Bryan family embarked on many campaigns in order to  collect rent and evict the black residents from James City. This is what is called  by modern day African Americans as “gentrification”.  Gentrification can be explained as “when white affluent people buy an area and raise the property value or the rent to its tenants, thereby forcing them to move out and relocate, allowing the whites to take over and become the new landowners”.   This could possibly be the first recorded history of gentrification in American History.

Many black families in James City, protested that they had never paid rent and other residents wanted compensation for improvements they had made to their houses,or homes they had built and land they had cleared and made suitable for farming.  James Bryan refused to negotiate with these farmers and in 1892 the decision was brought before the North Carolina Supreme Court.  The court, unsurprisingly, decided in favor of the Bryans and many black residents lost their homes to the new landlords. Essentially, James City residents were living on “borrowed land” they thought they had owned.  Slowly the tenants began to move out and bought property in newby towns such as Graysville, Meadowsville, Brownsville and Leesville.

With the advent of the Industrial Revolution in the early 1900s, James City, lost many of it’s residents to industrial areas during World War I.  There were approximately only about 700 black residents who remained in James City and who owned and rented property there. These people possessed a strong sense of heritage and the  African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church, which was formed in 1821 and was a place that provided the residents with personal and religious freedom.  One influential leader was Bishop James Walker Hood (1831-1918)  of North Carolina. He  created and fostered many AME churches in North Carolina.  

African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church

The Freedmen's Bureau, formerly known as the Bureau of Refugees, Freedmen and Abandoned Lands, was created by congress on March 3, 1865 was formed in order to assist the newly freed slaves obtain aid for their immediate needs such as medical care, food and shelter. This aid, instituted by Abraham Lincoln, was to last for one entire year. This bureau also assisted the newly freed slaves a manner in which to purchase land that had been abandoned by the Confederacy.  However, Congress later determined that no ex-confederate land would be given to the freedmen as a result of President Johnson’s Amnesty Proclamation in 1865 which seemed to take back what had been previously given to the freed slaves by the creation of the Freedmen’s Bureau.  

During the end of the war, many white slaveholders left their lands and slaves and relocated to the deep south and never returned to reclaim their land, these lands were bought by the freed slaves.  This allowed for hundreds of thousands of freed slaves to own land for the first time.  Many of these former white slaveholders left North Carolina, Tennessee and Virginia, some with their slaves in tow, and bought land in the southern states of Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana and Texas. There they were able to continue “life as usual”, thereby creating laws that were oppressive in nature to the newly freed slaves in which they were forced to work or be placed in jail. The newly freed slaves had no alternative but to work for few wages to none as sharecroppers on the slave owner’s lands. Many freed slaves became tenant farmers on reclaimed lands of North Carolina and Virginia and the deep south from encouragement from the Freedmen’s Bureau.

References:

1.Joe A. Mobley, James City: A Black Community in North Carolina, 1863-1900 (1981).

2.  Karin Lorene Zipf, "Promises of Opportunity: The Freedman's Savings and Trust Company in  New Bern, North Carolina" (M.A. thesis, University of Georgia, 1994).

3.  Refer to website :https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_Methodist_Episcopal_Zion_Church

4. Refer to website:  http://www.blackpast.org/aah/bureau-refugees-freedmen-and-abandoned-lands-1865-1872

5.  David G. Hackett, "The Prince Hall Masons and the African American Church: The Labors of Grand Master and Bishop James Walker Hood, 1831–1918." Church history 69#4 (2000): 770-802. Online

6. Claude F. Oubre, Forty Acres and a Mule: The Freedmen’s Bureau and Black Land Ownership (Baton Rouge: Louisiana State University Press, 1978) - See more at: http://www.blackpast.org/aah/bureau-refugees-freedmen-and-abandoned-lands-1865-1872#sthash.n7Y1jECh.dpuf

7. The Struggle for Equality: Abolitionists and the Negro in the Civil War and Reconstruction (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1964), pp. 178-191, 256-257, 408-409; http://history.eserver.org/freedmens-bureau.txt.