Please Dont Cry! Allowing People to Express their Emotions by Crying

                                    Please Don't Cry! 

                                  Allowing People to Express their Emotions by Crying

We often tell people, "Don't Cry!" when we see them sad and crying in front of us. Why do we do that?

Why do we tell them to Not cry? Maybe it is because of our own selfish reasons, maybe it is because it makes us feel uncomfortable. We struggle to find ways to comfort them. We don't know what to say to them in this situation. 

When someone passes away, we often don't know what to say to them that will offer them comfort and make them feel better.  Why not just allow them to feel what it is they are feeling. We should allow them to "get into their feelings" as some would say. We need to allow them time to feel the emotions and cry, if that is what they feel like doing at that point in time.  

When I worked in the hospital as a RN many years ago, I would see people cry a lot. Often times the doctors would immediately diagnose them as depressed and order some type of medication to treat their depression.  I would often wonder why doctors would respond this way instead of allowing them to feel their emotions and simply cry.  I would never tell my patients to not cry or make them feel bad about expressing that emotion. They just needed to cry about whatever situation they were facing at that time.

God gave us this emotion to allow us to express our feeling, of sadness or happiness and we are allowed to cry.  Remember the song. It's My Party and I will Cry if I Want To, sung by Leslie Gore? That song was recorded in 1963. She goes on later to say in the song's lyrics - "You would cry too if it happened to you." In the song's lyrics, it is describing a girl whose boyfriend ran off and married her good friend and then shows up together, at her party with a ring on her hand. 

This song was actually produced by Quincy Jones, few people are aware of that fact.  The song was written by Seymour Gottlieb, based on actual events relating to his own daughter's sweet sixteen birthday party. She did not want to invite her grandparents to her own party. Perhaps she felt they were too old and would ruin her party by their mere presence. Well guess what? Her grandparents did eventually attend this birthday party. 

Sometimes we just need a moment to cry, and then all is right again with the world. 

by Ella Shines Goldsmith